Tuesday 9 August – It was scary. Am I getting a new stroke? Why? How? Why this new thing?
Or is it all in my head… is everything cool…?
On Monday, I went back to the office, for the first time after my vacation. It was a good day, or maybe a great day. I worked for five hours, as the orders say to me. And with a long lunch, some chatting with kolligs. After the “five hours” I was sitting there for a while, focusing on my “personal work” for an hour or two.
Since the trains don’t work right now, I have to go on a bus instead. When I came home, I realized I have been gone for 11 hours… oups.
I went up semi-early. 7:45ish. Working from home, had my normal breakfast, upstairs at the computer. At my office. Working a bit with “the work”, and most about “personal work”. Started to record a new tutorial video.
At 12:00 I and my daughter and my bonus son went to the gym. I really felt that my body is slowly (extremely slowly) getting better. My arm and shoulder can now reach longer, lifting now weights, moving a bit faster. I literally cried a tiny in the corner of my eye.
Back home, continue with my video. Preparing my wife’s dinner to help a bit. Make small pieces of the chicken breast file. Can you please try to slice this with one hand? Actually with the wrong hand? It’s impossible… but I did it. So I fried the chicken pieces and boiled some pasta. And, of course, clean the kitchen for Linda to finish the dinner.
Before eating, I got a delivery for gadgets to our garden. So instead of taking it easy, I started to mount them in our watering system.
Sitting at our patio table for eating dinner, I felt I was completely exhausted. I could hardly talk, and hardly get any words out of me properly. My heart was pounding.
It’s a bit ass deja vu.
Last week, I bought a blood pressure meter to have here at home. Why? Why not… I know the pressure is important since I was at the hospital. It can be an indication of something is wrong. Linda brought the gadget, and it’s not good…
Crap. What the f*ck is now happening? Again??
My docs have promised that 99% sure there will not be any deja vu. This happened once, ok sure we don’t know why it happened, but now Jonas is being a good boy and eating his medicines, every day and always. So this will never happen again. Period.
I go to bed. Drink some water. Go peeing now and then. (Peeing like 5 times this evening. Why why? No idea why.) Trying to relax, but it’s really hard to “relax” when you are feeling your body and brain being fishy.
I relaxed enough at least, so I can now speak as well as I do these days. Even better? Maybe…
Am I now getting a reverse-rehab? I tried to move my fingers… hope hope hope… Well no. Fingers not fixed.
I measured again. Same.
It says “Grade 1 Hypertoni”. I have no idea what that means. I should google it. I don’t care, I know it’s sort of bad anyway.
My wife needs to leave for two hours, to pick up her mom to live in our house when we are flying to Gotland for my sister’s daughter why get married on Saturday. We need to go there! I want to. We all urge for going there. Why is this now happening??
Linda came to the bed, and I asked her to measure again. I don’t want to see it, I just want to sleep and wake up to a new healthy man. But I need the numbers, and I will see them tomorrow. So just do it.
She had to tell me the numbers. And I’m glad she did. I’m now normal again. I feel quite strange. But I am normal. Ok, the numbers and the machines are not being “me”. I am who I am, and I may feel things even if the numbers say No.
But that number made me some relaxing to me. And I could sleep a bit better. Thanks.
I woke up at 7. Feeling strange still. My head is working its ass off to get it in the right direction.
The first measuring looks too good… What’s wrong with the tool?
A few minutes later, it looks more like I hoped it to be.
The day continues like this. Most green result, a few yellow.
Afternoon, evening, getting into night. And I feel ok. Fishy, but ok.
Why do I care? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just on it, have a hiccup for techy things.
Maybe because I still don’t have any clue why something happened to me, I can’t even know what happened to me.
My youngest son and his girlfriend just came here. We’re all going to Gotland tomorrow. We will go.
I’ll just skip the worrying. Look forward, have fun, don’t care! 😊